The Buffalo Theory

This theory is called The Buffalo Theory. It might just be the greatest theory every formulated by man. I know not who wrote this, I am only retelling it.

All through the Great Plains, there were millions of buffalo. The buffalo were hunted by the Plains Indians, or the more politically correct term, the Native Americans. These Native Americans had a system to hunting the buffalo. You see, buffalo move in herds. They can only move as fast as the slowest member of the herd. The Native Americans recognized this, and would hunt the slowest member. What they didn’t realize is that when you kill the slowest member, it would essentially make the herd faster, as now the slowest member has been killed. This made it more difficult for the Native Americans to hunt the buffalo after long periods of time.

Alcohol is a lot like those Native Americans. Instead of hunting buffalo, it hunts brain cells. Now, just like the buffalo, brain cells can only work as good as the worst one. Alcohol kills the slower brain cells. Therefore, the more you drink, the smarter you become. So drink up everyone. The world is counting on you.

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Funny Technology Cartoons

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Funney Nursery Rhymes

Roses are red; violets are blue.
Monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo.
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too.
Not in a cage but laughing at you.

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Twinkle twinkle little star.
You should know what you are.
And once you know what you are!
Mental hospital is not so far.

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The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful Why doesn't it rain on you?

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I wrote your name on sand it got washed,
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then, I wrote your name on my heart And I got a heart attack straight away

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God saw me hungry, HE created pizza.
HE saw me thirsty, HE created Pepsi,
HE saw me in dark, HE created light.
HE saw me without problems, HE created YOU.

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When your life is in darkness, pray to God.
Ask him to free you from darkness,
and if after you pray, you're still in darkness,Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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Software Monkeys

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display.
While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper,

"I'll have a C monkey please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey.

He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, that'll be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?"

The shopkeeper answered,
"Ah, that monkey can program in C very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."

The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"

"Oh, that one's a C++ monkey;

It can manage object- oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java.
All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own.
The price tag around its neck read $50,000.

He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the other put together! What on earth does it do?" T he shopkeeper replied,

"Well, I haven't actually seen it doing anything, but the other monkeys call him the Module Leader."

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